5 steps to help you deal with a separation
Separating isn’t a decision that is taken lightly. Whether it was your decision or your partner’s you’re still likely to experience a rollercoaster of emotions. Married or not the consequences can be equally difficult.
There is no set way to deal with a separation and everyone’s experience will be different. It is easy to become very irrational and make rash decisions and that’s why we have put together some guidance to help provide you with some clarity on what steps to take in such situation.
As hard as this might be, you can’t make sensible decisions when you are stressed. Take some time out and clear your head, go to the seaside, visit your favourite café or perhaps just run yourself a bath. Over the coming months, you will have some big decisions to make, so the calmer and more rational you are, the better. Decisions made with careful consideration are always preferable to those made in haste.
Depending on the circumstances surrounding the separation your initial reaction might be that you never want to speak to your partner ever again, but this is unrealistic and impractical. There are decisions that require you and your partner to agree together. It doesn’t matter what form of communication you use but it is vital that you remain in communication. It is also important to keep in touch with family members and friends who can offer you support and reassurance.
Do the maths
Finances can be a huge source of contention therefore a good place to start is by writing down as much as you know about the family finances as possible. You may not remember all of the details at once but having a written list means you can add to it as and when you remember certain things.
Think of others
Are there any children involved? If so, their needs must be a priority. Try to keep to your normal routines as much as possible and give your children the reassurance they need. It can be a very confusing time for them and lot of children don’t know how to deal with the situation. You must, wherever possible, make sure you keep the relationship amicable between the children and your partner.
Seek expert advice
There is help out there, so make the most of it. A way of ensuring that everything is divided equally and ‘by the book’ is to instruct a Solicitor to help you. They can help to advise on financial matters, arrangements for the children and if necessary, the divorce process. The law can be very complicated and therefore it’s useful to seek expertise to protect yourself and the family.
This information is for guidance only and sets out to support individuals experiencing separation.