INFIDELITY – is the No.5 Reason, according to our Solicitors, why couples split-up.

Infidelity, Adultery and the Decision to Divorce

Unfaithfulness Damages Trust

Infidelity is one of the most painful reasons a marriage may come under strain.

Whether it involves a physical affair, an emotional attachment, secret messaging, or a longer pattern of dishonesty, the discovery of unfaithfulness can cause a profound loss of trust.

For many people, that breach of trust is the moment they begin to consider whether the marriage can realistically continue.

In England and Wales, adultery no longer has the same formal role in divorce proceedings that it once did. Since the introduction of no-fault divorce in April 2022, a spouse does not need to prove adultery, unreasonable behaviour, desertion, or separation in order to obtain a divorce. Instead, the applicant, or both spouses jointly, simply confirms that the marriage has broken down irretrievably.

The court does not require evidence of the affair, and the divorce application does not provide a route for blaming one party for the breakdown.

That does not mean infidelity is irrelevant in real life. The law may now avoid assigning blame, but the emotional effect of adultery can still be decisive. A spouse who has been betrayed may feel unable to rebuild intimacy, communicate openly, or believe future promises.

Divorce Trigger

Even where the unfaithful spouse expresses remorse, the hurt party may conclude that the relationship has passed a point of repair. In that sense, adultery can be the practical trigger for divorce, even if it is no longer the legal ground pleaded in the application.

Infidelity can also expose wider problems within the marriage. Sometimes an affair is not an isolated event but part of a pattern of secrecy, emotional distance, financial dishonesty, or disrespect. The discovery may lead one spouse to reassess the relationship as a whole.

They may realise that the marriage has lacked trust for some time, or that attempts to repair it have repeatedly failed. In those circumstances, commencing divorce proceedings may feel less like a sudden reaction and more like a necessary step after a long deterioration.

The decision to divorce following adultery is often influenced by practical concerns as well as emotions. A person may worry about the family home, children’s arrangements, pensions, savings, debts, or the financial impact of separating.

They may also need time to consider whether counselling, mediation, or a period of separation is appropriate before making a final decision. However, where trust has broken down completely, starting proceedings can provide structure and help both parties move towards clarity.

Not a Bargaining Tool

It is a common misconception that adultery will usually lead to a more favourable financial settlement for the innocent spouse.

In most cases, the court is concerned with fairness, needs, resources, and the welfare of any children, rather than punishing marital misconduct.

The fact of an affair will rarely change the division of assets. That said, related circumstances may be relevant in limited situations, for example if a spouse is cohabiting with a new partner and that affects their financial needs, or if conduct is exceptionally serious and has a direct financial or welfare impact.

Children’s Welfare

Where children are involved, the affair itself is not normally the key issue. The focus is on the children’s welfare and on arrangements that are safe, stable, and in their best interests.

Nevertheless, the aftermath of infidelity can make communication between parents very difficult. Feelings of anger, humiliation, or mistrust may spill into discussions about contact, schooling, holidays, and day-to-day care. In such cases, legal advice or mediation can help separate the adults’ relationship breakdown from the practical decisions required for the children.

Ultimately, infidelity and adultery may prompt divorce because they strike at the foundation of marriage: trust, commitment, honesty, and mutual respect.

No Blame Needed

The modern divorce process in England and Wales no longer requires one spouse to prove blame, but it recognises that a marriage can simply have broken down beyond repair.

For someone who feels that an affair has ended the relationship emotionally, commencing divorce proceedings may be the formal step that reflects a reality already reached in private.

How to Make an Appointment to Discuss Your Situation with a Solicitor

At Lawson West we understand what couples are going through at every stage of separation. As members of Resolution, we are committed to a non-confrontational approach to family law issues that would produce better outcomes for separating families and their children.  You can complete our Contact Form here, or you can call us on 0116 212 1000.

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This article: Created by AI and checked by a qualified solicitor. This article is intended as general commentary only and is not legal advice. Specific outcomes in family law depend on the facts of each case and the applicable law at the time.