You’ve seen the TV adverts: sunny beaches or lounging on a cruise with children paddling or engaged in water sports nearby. For couples who have children but are divorced or separated, the idyllic picture is tarnished by the issue of contact. Contact arrangements for summer holidays cannot be made too soon.
Where holiday contact can’t be agreed, you will need to take advice from a solicitor and start a process that can take many months to resolve. If contact isn’t agreed through solicitors’ letters, the contact issue will go to Court and the Court will decide how to proceed.
It is far better for both parents and children if the parents can make a friendly decision which saves money, time and stress. Planning to take children on holiday needs to be carefully timetabled and thought out. Taking a very young child away from their main carer for two weeks may be too much. However, one week away with one parent and a different week away with the other parent, means the children get two holidays as well as spending time with each parent.
What do you do if you turn up for a pre-arranged contact time and the other parent doesn’t let you see your children?
Difficult as it is, particularly if you’ve travelled to see your children or have a pre-booked event arranged, try to stay calm and find out why contact is being refused.
If you former partner tells you the children don’t want to see you, consider whether this makes sense. Did things go well on your last contact visit? Did you get them back on time? Or were you late, giving your partner reason to be wary of your next contact visit? If the previous contact visit went well, the children seemed happy and you think the residential parent is influencing the children, you may be able to get a contact order.
If your former partner says they’ve made other arrangements for the children when your contact visit was pre-arranged and the children are doing activities that could have been done another day, this is unreasonable.
If the children are ill, find out how ill they are. A trivial illness like a cold shouldn’t stop contact. Even if it is more serious you should still be able to see your children even if you can’t take them out.
Contact and child maintenance are separate issues. Whether or not you pay maintenance, your children still have the right to see you. Non payment is not a valid reason to stop you seeing your children, although it is strongly recommended you make child maintenance payments. Your children also have the right to maintain relationships with your family so your former partner should not prevent you taking your children to visit your parents, their grandparents. Likewise if you have a new partner, they will be part of your children’s lives too.
Keep a diary of contact dates and problems that occur. If problems do keep occurring, seek legal advice as you may be able to obtain a contact order or an enforcement order.
If you’ve any questions about child contact and parental responsibility, please contact James Haworth on 0116 212 1080. James is a member of the Leicestershire Regional Committee for Resolution, an association of legal professionals working to reduce conflict in separation and divorce.
